If you’ve ever been on a subway in America, then you can easily picture what I’m talking about. The subway stations are no different in Florence- they’re just as humid, smelly and psychotic as they are at home. The worst in people seems to clog the entire atmosphere.
I arrived at the Florence station Thursday night and spent way too many hours in that environment. We were forced to stand in line for over an hour, only to be shooed away at exactly 21:00 when the Italians went on strike for 24 hours. Our train unfortunately was scheduled to leave at 21:30. We sprawled out all over the train station floor, waiting for the inevitable “Cancellato” to flash across the board next to our Munich train.
An Asian-American woman came up to us inquiring why everything was shutting down. She said, “I just want to go home to America where we do everything right.” Our standards of service are on a completely different level in America. We expect everything to be done when we say it should be done. I had never thought that we do everything “right”, but in that moment, I understood exactly what she meant.
In this scene, you need to clarify some things and add more detail to others, Mary Helen.
ReplyDeleteContrasting Italian train stations with American subway stations is a good idea. But re-read what you wrote: You meant "train" in a key spot where you wrote "subway." That would be confusing to readers.
Work on adding that detail that helps the story along. Name of the train station? Where were you headed? Why did you have to wait in line, exactly? (Didn't buy tickets ahead of time?)
I like your personalized ending. Strikes are rare in American transportation, but common in Italy. Would have been good to add a bit more info about the strike to bolster your scene...